Healing Mom, Heals money

I met with a spiritual teacher once,hoping to get some insight with abundance and money.She told me something that zinged my heart:“The work isn’t about money.It’s about healing your mother wounds.” 

She explained that I was still trying to prove my worthiness through how much I received — using money as the measure for love I never felt secure in as a child.

And in the laws of manifestation,as long as that was the source of my desire,it was based in lack...which would never attract abundance.

That hit home. 

Growing up, my mom’s affection felt unpredictable.

One day I was enough, the next I was a "bad daughter'.

It was like living inside the movie Everything Everywhere All at Once: the stereotypical yet all too true Asian mother-daughter relationship that felt chaotic, painful,yet full of love, obligation, and guilt.

Admitting that was hard because I loved her —and felt guilty saying anything less than complimentary about her, but we're all human and we do impact each other. Facing this truth was my turning point.

I was projecting onto life the unresolved feelings I had with her.

I was cautious to receive and didn't feel worthy.

I felt I had to keep earning belonging and approval through hustle and overgiving, and not asking for too much. 

I saw how her relationship to abundance was embedded in the depths of my subconscious.

She'd grown up in war with scarcity of food and care.

Things I'd never experienced were in my DNA,epigenetic ancestry. 

It didn’t heal overnight. 

But month by month,I noticed life softening as I healed.

I started feeling more comfortable in the world.

People started being kinder to me.

Receiving became easier and less guilt-ridden.

Money started flowing in as I felt more right to take up space and go after what I wanted.

I stopped desperately hustling to “earn” life.

By healing my relationship with my mom, it not only brought me peace and more love towards her...I opened to life’s flow —and life began to support me right back.